This morning I woke up early and with a lot of energy. I couldn't fall back asleep. I feel a sense of urgency and excitement for this new year that penetrates my bones. there are so many things I want to accomplish, to begin that will shape my life forever. Today I will meet with a woman that will lead me to begin my own business and I have my first class of the year tonight, which will lead to me graduating in May. I want to update my resume to reflect skills that will lead me out of banking. Today I need to be focused.
I look at the news and the first thing I see is others fighting for the freedom I have. (random thought)
Anyway, this year I have made some resolutions:
1. I will not hold back any part of me that I feel I want to give, do, or let shine. (Emotions, thoughts, activities)
2. I will explore my sexuality. Learn about that part of my womanhood that I have always been afraid to give in to and let go of. (Sounds like fun.)
3. I will work hard this year to be and give my best with everything I do.
Sounds great...but I do feel I am missing something...I know what it is but it is not something within my control. I cannot put it on my list because if I do I know it will never exist. love. I want to feel love and be loved by a man. I want to truly understand it. I don't mean dating or having a boyfriend. I can do that all my life without ever experiencing true love. Plus, I am not ready to get married or to share my life with someone at least not yet...and I don't think I need to do those things to have the experience of love. So, if it's out there find me...and maybe we can explore resolution #2.
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Be vulnerable this year, very vulnerable and love will find you.
I like that last line about resolution #2.
-Cher
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