I have had a great epiphany of my life this weekend. "Everything that has happened to me good or bad is my own doing." I guess I have always believed that there are other forces driving or the actions of others lead circumstances in a certain direction. This belief somehow took the responsibility off of myself a bit. But no, I am a single mom because of the choices I made. I am alone in this lonely world because I choose to be irrational and unavailable to men. I am stuck in life because the choices I have made for myself (most choices made without thinking at all) have led me to this point.
I feel like I'm stuck. I can't move. I can't break free. If I scream for help it's no use. ANothre person can't free me. I will have to figure my own way out. But right now I have no clue on how to move forward. My hands are tied.
I wish I was a hero on an action movie. Being able to size up the situation in an instant and have each move precisely planned out, even to the point to the anticipation of the actions of the enemy, and able to manuever out of a deadly situation without a scratch.
Instead, I am an old fool. Setting up my own traps and then falling into them. I have no common sense, no smart tactics, no clue about reality....so I end up hurting myself, badly.
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